Stop it: Old Flaws with New Year’s Resolutions
We are creatures of habit. Good and bad. We have our patterns and tend to duplicate them. That’s why they are a pattern, duh. Some of these patterns are classic – food, family, budget – like a two tone stiped cashmere sweater, while others are more volatile – vacations and drama with friends – akin to meme-of-the-moment graphics plastered on a poly cotton blend T shirt.
Knowing that we need to break habits to create new patterns, come the end of December we lean into the buzz of making new year’s resolutions. Fitness resolutions, financial resolutions, food resolutions, time management resolutions, family resolutions, and naughty vice removal resolutions flood our conversations and head space. Then, like the crazy humans we are we make them and break them all before the months end. It’s definitely a pattern.
Understanding that none of this is newsworthy, I believe I’ve come to think of this whole annual change over season in a new way. Here’s what: I think it may be bullshit. Why do we spend time and energy doing something that we know – and people expect – us to fail at?
While it’s important to have goals, I think they only make sense if you actually want them. We read all these books, go to conferences, watch documentaries, and shame ourselves constantly about bad habits and promise ourselves new habits. It’s a lot. I think it’s time to stop.
I say for 2020, maybe just stop. Here are two style focused things to stop right now and you’ll actually achieve something way more valuable: confidence.
Stop Shopping
I know, I know. I’m biting the hand that feeds me or whatever the saying is but hear me out. How about, for a set period of time – a month, or two, or all year – you stop buying new things. Why not try and use what you have including that wonderful laundry machine? Not shopping will save you time, money, and head space to slow down and get real about your style.
Instead of shopping, how about you use that time to review, edit, organize, and purge? The easiest way to understand what you actually use takes less than an hour to do. I bet it’s more like fifteen minutes of your time. Step one: Head to your closet and flip all the hangers backwards. Step two: As you wear, wash, and replace the items to your closet, reverse them to the right side. Step three: At the end of your designated spend embargo, you’ll see what you’ve actually worn. Badda bing, baddaboom. No nonsense, simple, and effective. Step 4: If you don’t feel fabulous about what you see, get rid of it. If you can’t even, call me.
If the “no shopping” thing is too tough love for you, consider buying strategically this year.
Support local. Investing where you live lets and other family thrive.
Support sustainable. Purchase fabrics and styles that will last the test of time from brands that you love and trust.
Shop second hand. Purchasing something that already exist slows down the rate of waste.
Slow down. Wait 24 hours to purchase any clothing item. If it’s gone when you go back, tough break.
Now that we’ve stopped – or slowed down – the shopping, let’s shift from matter of the outside and let’s work on the inside.
Stop Body Shaming
It’s pretty much universal that we all have issues with our own body. Learning the difference between an issue and full-on shame are two different things. Issues tend to be like personalities, with time, you can accept, love, and make the most of it. Shame is a toxic, dark emotion that is so last year. Let’s retire that one, shall we?
No one looks like what Instagram, TV, the movies look like. Not even the stars themselves. Believe me, as a former advertiser and a costumer on many sets, smoke, mirrors, and photoshop are a real thing. I share this not to encourage you to give up on your appearance, no, it’s to give some perspective. We all can look good (and really, really good).
Self-acceptance and love are a continuous process. Like the seasons, there will be ebbs and flows. That said, why not stop thinking about what others may think and just focus on how you see yourself? If you wear something that doesn’t fit you, flatter you, or make you feel good, get it off. Get it off now.
That body lets you live the life you live so say thank you. Daily. If you want help with something, ask for it. Ideally, take that help from someone who actually is accredited – like a doctor or medical professional instead of say a random L.A. based influencer for example.
If this feels really big, it’s because it is. That said, here’s a quick hack to start your self-love ride: if you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, child, partner, idol, to your jail cell mate, or boss, don’t you dare speak to yourself that way.
I like to think that great style, centred on confidence, either starts from the outside and works its way in, or maybe it’s building from the inside out. You get to the same fabulous place no matter the order you do it. Regardless of the order, don’t you think it’s about time to stop the nonsense and get real? I love that look for you.
