Why All Clothing Should Be Genderless Clothing
Credits: Photo - Anonymous, Styling - Sarah G. Schmidt, Location - Corner of Gladstone and 10 Street NW
Smack dab in the middle of June I hope you are all thinking two things: Yay it’s Pride Month and get me into summer clothing. Throw on an oversize white dress shirt or a loose fit, brightly coloured dress and you’re there. Badda boom badda bing.
While it really is that simple, we humans have made things super difficult for ourselves. Sure, clothing is made with certain models or people in mind, but one doesn’t have to identify a certain way to wear what they want. Helen of Troy, no. The clothing doesn’t care who wears it as long as somebody does. It’s not living.
Listen up because this is real talk: there is no “clothes for females” and “clothes for males” in my world. So foolishly binary, too, when there is a spectrum of identities in the real world. Binary clothing categories are social constructs that the individual can agree or disagree with. That’s it. It should be as simple a choosing what to wear when you want for the day that you’re about to take on.
About 200 years ago, society got all twisted up about who should wear what. Men in skirts: please see the middle ages and our Scottish friends in kilts. Women in pants: austerity measures during world war years helped with that. We learned a new normal and now we have to unlearn that and start at the most basic level. No one person has to wear something based on the way you see them. It’s up to them to dress for themselves.
Wearing chosen garments really should not be that big of a deal. But of course it is if you are pressured into wearing this or that based on someone else’s idea of who you should be. I say, share who you authentically are with the world. The rest of us should be so lucky to be witnessing your sartorial journey in your fabulous orbit. But, of course, it hasn’t been that simple. Hate and targeted crimes based on how one looks has been a prevalent, horrible reality for those who identify as girls and women for forever. Our queer friends have had their unwarranted battles with narrow-minded, yet ultra-powerful policy pushing ass hats.
I urge that this gender expressing judgment is something that can no longer be an unconscious, yet hurtful blurt. We must be more deliberate and careful with those self-expressing through dressing, especially those going through something.
Part of this is preventable. I think labelling children as binary genders (how limiting, no?) starts as early as finding out the sex of a baby while still in utero. Westerners are obsessed with filling child rooms with sex specified clothes, shoes, books, and toys before the babe has even made his/her/their formal debut into the world. That’s a lot a pressure on defenceless newborn or yet to be born kiddo. You haven’t even met the little person yet? What’s the rush?
Experts acknowledge that gender identity and expression can come as early as the toddler years but may blossom later or over time. Sex is an external, physical marker. Gender is so much more complex – and fun if you ask me.
So what to do about people experimenting with their gender expression – hopefully through fashion - in your life? The catch phrase, “Meet people where they are at and not where you believe they should be at,” comes to mind. Or more matter-of-factly: when a person tells you who they are, believe them.
In short, we need to chill the F out and shut the F up on what other people are wearing. Especially when you’re not a fashion expert. Over time, I have learned when to zip it. Unless someone asks you flat out, “What do you think of my outfit?” it’s best to say nothing.
If you need a reminder, “how come?” It’s not up to you, it’s likely not for you, and you’re simply lucky to be a spectator, should that person pass you by. What does matter is how the person wearing the garment feels…
Feel poppin’ in those heels? Good for you.
Hate pants and must wear a dress? Sure thing.
Hate dresses and want to wear pants? Cool, really.
Love the way a cinched belt feels on the small of your waist? Yes sir you do.
Is baggy better for you? Love that for you.
Like to keep things simple and understated? Super stealth mode on lock.
That’s the thing about great style: what you choose to wear affects the way you see yourself. If sincerely done, that boost in confidence and joy radiates from within the wearer and that radiance is what we are lucky enough to get to see. You enjoying yourself in your selected clothes is everything.
This Pride, if you’re not up to this level of empathy and understanding, get to it. Now. Our loved ones and neighbours need kindness and support. Do the work and it will be worth it. Plus, you’re really missing out on a more colourful – no pun intended but I do love rainbows - world.
**
Not sure where to start? Here are a few resources that may help you get inspired to explore more.
Gender identity explained by Canadian paediatricians
Canadian gender neutral brands
Website dedicated to ungendering fashion
More queer icons who shape fashion
**
Want to jump into the More to It blog archive? Check these past posts
How I’m going to be a better LGTBQ ally