Hunny, this is your ass speaking. I think we need to have a talk.

This past week has been mighty chilly in Calgary. You seem to be bundling up except for one key area: your legs and, me, your tush. You see those leggings you’re wearing as if they are pants just aren’t cutting it. They’re leggings, not pants after all.

I see you reaching for the sweaters in the closet, and I’m secretly hoping that it’s a long one that will cover me and my two neighbors, but nope, you go for the cropped one. And #sorrynotsorry, but tying a flannel around the waist just isn’t enough. I want something more substantial. Have you though about trying a skirt with suitable hosiery? There’s some great options for winter. That’d be a nice change.

I know when we go to the gym you’re doing that in part for me. I thank you. I too want us to be healthy. Wearing workout leggings there makes sense. We jump, squat, lift and run. Leggings are just the ticket then. That’s what they were designed for.

And I get it that when it’s just us around the house you want us to be comfortable. I’m not calling you out for that. That’s totally cool. It’s nice and cozy indoors so I don’t need the extra warmth or formality. But outside, in public, I need a bit more pizzazz. I want a bit more coverage. I know deep down you want it too.

I know we are in this together so I’m just going to be honest and let it all out. Here goes…

I really dislike it when you sit me on a cold bus seat with so little fabric.  

I feel sad when your boss looks at you disappointingly when she sees us in leggings. She knows that it looks too casual, as in bumming around the house too casual, so why do you put us in that situation? For the record, a blazer doesn’t “dress it up.” I deserve better, especially at the office. 

I hate that you care more about putting on a face for twenty minutes and making your hair just right. Then after all that you choose leggings to finish the look? What gives? It takes the same time to put on leggings as it does to put on some pants.

Really getting down to how I truly feel about this all, it honestly feels like I am the very last priority. 

Maybe we could try lined wool pants in the winter? I’ve heard good things from other ladies tush’s. Or how about those jogger style slacks? They look as comfortable as leggings but offer a more put together, and did I mention flattering, look. Even the models are wearing them. Or how about even trying a sweater dress over those leggings? What about a shirtdress? That could be a fair compromise, hey? 

I know we have so more talking to do but I think we can work it out. I am willing to try if you let us.

-Your Ass